Tom Brady Also Choose The UGG Boots Fight
That was my response the first time I saw Tom Brady’s new shoe commercial. Girlie, fuzzy boots on the NFL MVP — really? I’ll have to re-read it to be sure but I think Nietzsche’s “Last Man” appears just before Armageddon wearing the same kind of super-fluffy man slippers. And let me ask you this: When was the last time Brady parked his car and hustled up a grungy, urine-soaked set of garage steps to get to work? The Patriots’ practice facility is now on the set of “The Dark Knight,” is that what you’re telling me?
When in reality, a burly commando-like security guard dressed in black was actually by his side the whole time, waiting to crack the skull of anyone who so much as giggled at Brady’s footwear. Oh, wait, sorry, James is still talking, “… but, it’s not all about steps as in the stairs’ steps. It’s actually about people taking steps, Tom Brady in particular.” James, come on, you’re making this too easy, I thought.
“We’re shooting some steps for the commercial ‘Steps,’” is what some guy named James from the global ad agency M&C Saatchi says on the behind-the-scenes footage for the commercial featuring this most unlikely of pairs. Footage that reveals that in the shot Brady appears to move and groove effortlessly in his new sheepskin slipper boots through a carefree urban landscape.
Then Brady went out in Week 1 and led the New England Patriots to their eighth straight season-opening win with 517 yards passing (the fifth most in NFL history) and four touchdowns, including a 99-yard score to Wes Welker that might be the best thrown football I’ve seen in 15 years. (And I once spent an entire week at the Manning Passing Academy.) I mean, Welker didn’t catch it as much as it just materialized in the crease of his left elbow in full stride after zipping past the right ear hole of the defender with, oh, at least 1/8 of an inch to spare.
When you’re this good you could show up for the ESPYs wearing Borat’s neon green bathing suit and no one would say a word.
So of course, I watched the commercial again.
I watched it one more time and instead of saying, “Ugh,” at the end I actually said, “Hmm … UGG.”
And just like that, they had me.
Out of desperation I called the one place I was sure would back me up: the men’s shoe department at Nordstrom’s in the Circle Center mall in downtown Indianapolis, just one or two Manning throws (or now, 10 or 11 from Kerry Collins) away from Lucas Oil Stadium and the epicenter of all Patriots enmity. This would be a shoe in.
Oh, hey, that’s a Mos Def beat in the background. “Life’s a game, I heard the homies say, but I came to win, so I’m. Not. Here. To. Play.” Pretty good. Those “Chukkas” aren’t too bad, either, I guess. Tom says, “It’s an amazing product on your foot.” Did you know these things were originally created for surfers in Australia to keep their feet warm between sets of wicked waves? Or that while Peyton Manning seems to endorse everything from Billy’s Burger Shack to jock straps, this company is one of only two that Brady is aligned with? Or that Brady gave them all to his linemen as Christmas gifts and instead of beating him up they thanked him?
“We love ‘em, we sell a ton, they’re our No. 1 seller,” said a salesperson we’ll call Dan.
“With women, sure,” I responded. “But what about with …”
“No, no, with men,” Dan said. “I haven’t noticed a big upswing since Brady started endorsing them, but most of the guys who work here are sports fanatics and it means a lot to have a sport star endorse our product, even if it’s Tom Brady and we are all Colts fans here. We love the Colts, but you gotta respect the Patriots, ya know?”
